I touch you this morning

You were dreaming so fast

It seem to loosen my grip

On the past

And I love you so much

You are always insight

And we’re still making love

In my normal life

Keep on, keep on my brother

My sister, keep on right

I finally got my answers

I’ll be sharing through the morning

Sharing through the night

Surfing on the borders

Of my normal life

But I’m never alone

And my heart is like honey

And it’s crowded and funny

In my normal life.

I was thinking to Leonard Cohen…

In Romanian the word “moka” means “for free”. The source of the expression is disputed between the Mokka coffee from the Yugoslavians that was a trade merchandise during Communism or from the expression “for moka”.

Few Romanians know that the expression is wilder spread and goes back to the indigenous tribes from Papua New Guinea that had an economy based on the trade of presents called Moka exchange.

In the anthropological world the Moka system is both emblematic and highly debated. In the civilized world this aspect of confirmation through a present is embodied in the presents we offer for birthdays, Christmas and Easter.

When we had a “normal” life our family and friends were close to us, our kids had friends and the cousins. I have a sister, Lavinia has a sister and my brothers- in -law have each a sister. We are not so many, but we are united so at Christmas time we were at least 7 kids and 14 grown-ups.

The birthdays of friends, family, children and friends’ kids imply a budget. As I have 3 kids we can’t go to a party with only one present held by 6 hands, can we?

This present thing acts like a wheel. When it’s your kid’s anniversary, the parent must act like an event planner. The parent’s present and event must reflect the size of the love and the friends must reciprocate with carefully selected gifts that are the main attraction of the party.

Christmas, Easter, birthdays, wedding, parties, school clothes and everything that is implied by the scholar enrollment are part of the real life. The budget generated by all these is huge, I don’t know if you realize it. Someone who realizes this is stuck because of lack of solutions and this way the snowball of consumerism is getting bigger and bigger.

I don’t see a change, I AM the change. I’m living a change where TIME is the most valuable asset.

It’s mine, nobody can take it from me, I can’t save it, I can’t exchange it but I can share it with an infinite number of people.

I realized this when I left and I celebrated birthdays with no family and old friends around. Kids are counting and weighting  for gifts like Moka tribes.

But nobody can weight the time spent together.

Did you know that in Moka Tribes a gift works as a duty and an annual confirmation of friendship? If you don’t return the gift back or if you miss the ceremony, friendship ends.

Not only in Papua New Guinea is functioning the Moka exchange.

For example, I couldn’t be present to a friend’s wedding. I sent him money, twice as much as I had given, if I would have been present.

Why? For the same reasons as those of Moka tribes. I wanted the relationship to be even and I wanted to stay friends.

Who’s saying that  in friendships  money doesn’t count?

Only time is saying, only time…

P.S. Facebook shows me the most active friends.

Guess what, I’ve never met them in this life!

Interesting, right?

🙂

In viata normala

In cultura romana cuvantul moca este sinonim cu gratis. Provenienta expresiei este dezbatuta intre cafeaua Mokka de la iugoslavi ce functiona ca si moneda de schimb pe vremea Comunistilor sau de la expresia “pe de-a moaca“ sau “pe ochi frumosi.

Putini romani insa stiu ca expresia este cam internationala si provenind de fapt de la triburile indigene din Papua Noua Guinee care utilizeaza o economie bazata pe cadou numita schimbul Moka.

In lumea antropologica sistemul Moka este emblematic si larg dezbatut.

In lumea civilizata, acest aspect al confirmarii prin cadou il avem reprezentat prin cadourile zilelor onomastice, Craciun si Iepurasul de Pasti.

Cand aveam o viata normala aveam prietenii si familia alaturi iar copiii aveau prietenii lor alaturi precum si verisorii lor si asa mai departe. Eu am o sora, Lavinia o sora iar cumnatii mei cate o sora fiecare. Nu suntem multi dar cum suntem uniti, la un Craciun ne strangem minim 14 adulti si 7 copii.

Zilele onomastice ale prietenilor, familiei, copiilor si prietenii copiilor implica un buget. Cum am 3 copii nu putem merge la o onomastica cu un singur cadou tinut de catre 6 maini, nu?

Chestia asta cu cadoul functioneaza ca o roata. Cand vine aniversarea copilului tau, parintele are rol de organizator. Cadoul parintelui si organizarea trebuie sa fie pe masura dragostei iar prietenii trebuie sa sustina prin reciprocitate reusita avalansei de cadouri ce dau deliciul fiecarei onomastici.

Craciunul, Pastele, onomastici, nunti, petreceri, imbracaminte pentru scoala si tot ceea ce genereaza inregimentarea pentru atacul cunostintelor inseamna viata reala de fapt.

Bugetul implicat este enorm, nu stiu daca va dati seama!

Cine-si da seama este blocat din lipsa de solutii. In acest fel, bulgarele obligativitatii si confirmarii prin consum se rostogoleste mai departe.

Eu nu intrevad o schimbare, o traiesc. Traiesc o schimbare unde valoarea este TIMPUL.

Este al meu, nu-l pot strange, nu-l pot tine, nu mi-l poate lua nimeni dar il pot darui si imparti cu un numar infinit de oameni.

Mi-am dat seama plecand si sarbatorind zilele onomastice fara prieteni. Copiii contorizeaza si se cearta pe cadouri, precum Triburile Moka.

Dar pe timpul petrecut impreuna, nu se cearta.

Stiati ca in Triburile Moka un cadou functioneaza ca o datorie si o confirmare anuala a prieteniei. Daca nu intorci cadoul inapoi sau daca lipsesti de la ceremonie, prietenia inceteaza.

Eu n-am putut intoarce o prezenta la nunta unui prieten. Si i-am trimis bani, dublu fata de cat as fi dat, pentru ca nu am putut fi prezent.

De ce?

Din acelasi motiv ca cel al Tribului Moka din Papua Noua Guinee. N-am vrut sa raman dator si mi-am dorit sa ramanem prieteni.

Si cine mai zicea ca prietenia nu este pe bani?

Doar timpul spune asta, doar timpul…

P.S. Facebook imi arata cei mai activi prieteni.

Nu-i cunosc, nu i-am intalnit niciodata!

Pai si io ce sa inteleg din asta!?

🙂