16 Aug PRADO – 14 AUGUST 2019 – WHALE STORY

Well, the whale story went like this: we woke up at 6:30 after dreaming all night of Pinocchio, Geppeto and their whale and when Moby Dick came into the picture then we got cut off. 

The kids had a special day which they started with ice cream for breakfast. Ana ran like a spinner until she fell, bruised her elbow and messed her white dress that smelled like lavender and Vanish. 

Drama! 

Lavinia prepared a backpack full of sandwiches, water, fruits, chocolate came and biscuits with goiaba. I told her we were going to be at sea only for a few hours and theoretically not going to be cast away. 

Panic! 

We got to the docks only 1 minute before the leaving of the boat to realize we had taken with us the key to Mr. Pedro’s store. 

Shock!

I excuse myself for having to be gone for a few minutes but asking not to be left on shore, they are pretty understanding saying they were anyway waiting for a couple of idiots that had bought tickets but were not showing up. Yes! 

I set myself on Forest Gump mode. I return quickly cheered by the kids and Lavinia, the idiots were still not there, the people start to call them but don’t get through. We are happy they are not late because of us. 10 minutes later the lady at the agency appears, all sweaty and tensed. She sees us on the boat and starts laughing. 

It seems we were waiting for… us. You don’t get it? 

We were the idiots, I turned off my phone to save battery for drone filming, they called us and we were right there. 

The trip starts with cheers and adrenaline. Big waves, the boat goes balancing left to right. Ana throws up on the dress that used to be white. 

I can’t even remember what kind of ice cream she had for breakfast. Then it was Carla’s turn. Aris faints holding the mast. 

Lavinia looks like Shrek’s wife. She is all green but doesn’t give up. She even goes upstairs to take pictures of the whales… or more of whales backs and tails. 

The boat rocks… hard. 

I go up to launch the drone. The captain sees a whale and speeds up to catch it. Lavinia stays in a dog position, with the 2-kilo camera tied to her neck, the boat rocks heavily, but she holds herself tight. 

I try to get the drone back, the wind is heavy, the boat is shaking and I start dancing like in a Brasoveanca (google the dance to see it if curious). 

Lavinia bursts into laughter, could it get worse? 

I say yes. 

The drone blinks the battery off, I can’t ground it so I grab it in a hurry before the wind takes it. 

The propeller cuts my fingers, I am all blood. 

The people downstairs scream for the parents to come. The children “passa mal”. 

Fuck you, Moby Dick, you don’t even look like in the movies!

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POVESTEA CU BALENA

Pai cu balenele a fost cam asa!

Ne-am trezit in jur de 6.30 ca am visat in familie numai cu Pinocchio, Geppeto si balena lor iar cand a intrat in schema si Mobi Dick s-a rupt filmul!

Copiii au vrut o zi speciala asa ca si-au inceput dimineata cu inghetata la micul dejun.

Ana a alergat ca un titirez pana cand a cazut si-a zdrelit cotul si si-a murdarit rochia alba cu flori cu miros de levantica si vanish! Drama!

Lavinia a pregatit un rucsac plin cu sandwich-uri, apa, fructe, tort de ciocolata si biscuiti cu goiabada. I-am zis ca nu stam decat cateva ore si ca nu am de gand sa naufragiez! Panica! Am ajuns la barca fix cu 1 minut inainte de plecare ca sa ne dam seama ca am luat cheia cu noi de la restaurantul lui Sr. Pedro! Soc!

Ma scuz ca trebuie sa dispar din peisaj pentru cateva momente dar sa nu plece ca ma intorc repede, oamenii sunt intelegatori ca cica asteapta niste idioti care au platit biletele dar nu au aparut inca! Yesss! Ma pun pe mod Forest Gump!

Ma intorc repede in uralele copiilor si Laviniei, idiotii nu aparusera inca, lumea da telefoane astia cica nu raspund si pace! Noi suntem bucurosi ca nu am fost de vina pentru intarziere! Dupa alte 10 minute apare doamna de la agentie, transpirata si tensionata. Ne zareste printre urmaritorii de balene si-o bufneste rasul. Se pare ca noi ne asteptam ….pe noi! Pai ce nu intelegeti?! Noi eram idiotii, imi inchisesem telefonul ca sa salvez bateria pentru filmarea cu drona, oamenii sunau de zor iar noi…nicaieri dar pe barca!

Excursia incepe cu adrenalina si urale! Valuri mari, barca hatz intr-o parte si hatz in alta.

Ana vomita prima pe rochia care nu mai era de mult alba, nici acum nu m-am prins ce inghetata a mancat la micul dejun!

A urmat Carla.

Aris lesina atarnat de catarg.

Lavinia zici ca-i nevasta lui Shreck. E verde la fata dar nu renunta! Ba chiar urca la etaj si incepe sa fotografieze balenele sau ma rog….cozi si spate! Barca se clatina…rau!

Urc si eu sa ridic drona. Capitanul zareste o balena si porneste cu viteza inspre ea!

Lavinia ia pozitia cainelui cu aparatul de 2 kg atarnat de gat, barca se clatina rau, dar ea se tine bine! Eu incerc sa aduc drona inapoi, vantul imi face clipe grele, barca e in miscare, incep sa ma misc gen “brasoveanca”! Pe Lavinia o bufneste rasul, bai, omule se poate mai rau?!

Ii zic ca da! Drona tipa ca nu mai are baterie, nu reusesc sa o fac sa aterizeze asa ca o apuc zdravan cu mana inainte sa mi-o zboare iar vantul. Elicele imi sfarteca degetele, ma umplu de sange.

De jos, oamenii tipa sa vina parintii! Copiii “passa mal”!

Fuck you Moby Dick, ca nici macar nu arati ca in benzile de desene animate!